Underneath the banana tree, my honey and me…

M: “What are you eating?”

C: “Goat cheese and dates.”*

M: “Hm.”

C: “Oh rats, I forgot to use that zucchini to make zucchini bread again.”

M: “Yeah, I reminded you about that twice.”

C: “You did? That was nice of you.”

M: “How many of those kiwis did you throw away?”

C: “From this last purchase? I ATE EVERY SINGLE ONE! HAH! In my lifetime, who knows?”

M: “You waste too much food.”

C: “I’ve gotten better.”

M: “What about those black bananas in the kitchen that you haven’t eaten?”

C: “They’re red bananas; they’re supposed to turn black before you eat them. And there’re only two left! I’ve been eating them!”

M: “What about that avocado you bought? You know, the one after you threw away the last two?”

C: “I took it to work.” Whispering: “Where it’s still not getting eaten.”

M: “And what about that brown lemon in the kitchen?”

C: “It’s only brown on the outside. On the inside it’s still juicy and fresh. And besides, I can’t remember what I bought it for.”

M: “That’s it. From now on, you’re only allowed to buy project produce on the day of the project.”

C: “From now on, I’m taking my fruit to work to throw away!”

M: Muttering, “Oh god you’re hopeless.”

*Tasted good, gave me terrible farts.