Sunday, February 18, 2007

Reading trashy fiction so you don't have to

OK, so, ridiculous free book time again. How to Be a Hollywood Star: Your Guide to Living the Fabulous Life. It’s funny, like that Hipster Handbook that was so hilarious, what, five years ago? This book is the same and opposite: it instructs you on how to be as pretentious as possible (same), but with social paragon status (opposite (maybe?)).

Anyway, here’s an insightful clip I think could help anyone:

Star Question: Who Is My Friend?

REAL FRIENDS:
Call before dropping by
Don’t talk about your work
Tell you when you’ve put on weight
Don’t borrow money
Like your mom
Get mad at you on occasion
Jump out and fill up the gas tank
Encourage you to cut back on caffeine
Offer to watch your kids
Proudly tell their other friends that they know you

STAR EFFER FRIENDS:
Never leave
Want to know every detail
Say you look great
Don’t borrow money (because they expect you to just give it to them)
Hate your family
Offer nothing but praise
Moan about self-serve pumps
Borrow your Starbucks card
Talk down to your nanny
Tattoo your initials on their neck


I think the most important thing I've taken away from How to Be a Hollywood Star is to remember to live by the "Real Friends" column. Except for the "tell you when you've gained weight" thing. Unless you really are in Hollywood, no one needs to hear that.

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