I keep telling my friends (and myself) that I am trying *really* hard to find the silver lining in this crazy life of mine. I keep finding little ones, like my friend Monya is happy, and that rules. And Monya reminded me that no matter how effed up my life gets this summer, Matthew will (probably) still pay the rent.
Not following on the “effed up life this summer” thing? I don’t know how clear I’ve been. I know I’ve been whining about wanting to find a new job, but have I ever actually told you why? I’m being forced down to part-time this summer. Now I’m being negotiated in a way I’m not comfortable with.
OK, life, lemons, lemonade. I went and applied for a part-time gig at a bookstore to supplement my summer. They thought it would be great to have me work Saturdays and Sundays at the bookstore. So did I! I like paychecks!
I suspect the weekend part-time job news worked through the library grapevine and got back to my boss. He said, “I’ll give you eight extra hours a week if you agree to work those hours on Sundays.” Can’t really say no. Even if I’m gettin’ played like a fiddle, this is my career (and pays way better than the book store), so now I have to go into the bookstore—where I haven’t even started working yet—and say, “You know, I totally lied about the Saturday Sunday thing. It’s actually Saturday plus whichever other day than Sunday that you choose. Take your pick. But I’m already reneging on the ace I played to talk you into giving me this bookstore job. My bad!”
I try to remind myself that my life could be SO much crappier, but I’m not prone to being a positive thinking person. I never have been. My entire life I’ve been “glass half empty.” I believe it’s a hereditary disease I caught from my father’s side of the family, cause, lemme tell ya, mom’s side ain’t like that. I’ve never known a more positive person in my life than my mother’s mother, The Rock-Star of God.
Last night I was trying to give the universe a talking to (yes, I was literally talking to the universe in my pajamas at 1:30 in the morning). “I’m juggling all these lemons, universe, but you just keep throwing me more. I need a spare hand to grab the pitcher and the juicer and the long handled wooden spoon and the sugar. If I have to keep juggling all the lemons you keep tossing in, I just can’t keep up. I’m no Vegas act, universe. If you’re serious about the lemonade thing, I need some kind of break.”
Does the universe have a kitchen counter? Can I set down all the lemons while I work on this?
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2 comments:
Just wanted you to know I read you every time you update. I really love your blog. Google reader lets me know. I hear you about the job. I am lucky my father owns a business and I a very laid back and low key position. Which reminds me I need to work tomorrow. Hope you are okay and that work will settle down soon.
Your friend,
Jonathon Andrew
Thanks Jonathan, that's really touching. See? So many well-wishers in the world. It really can be a beautiful place here.
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