Lincoln, Lincoln I’ve been thinkin’

I’ve been thinkin’ a lot about what I want to put in my blog, and it’s hard to think of stories that don’t embarrass someone who I have no call to embarrass. I can embarrass myself all day long because that’s funny, but some of my best stories happen with other people.

But here’s an observational gem for you: I’ve got a vein on the back of my right hand I can make wiggle based on how I flex my hand. My left hand doesn’t do anything cool. Actually, since I’m right-eyed, right-handed, and even right-footed, a friend of mine started a series of jokes about my left side that my husband still continues today. I hope that doesn’t sound too mean. If you knew how untalented my left side was you’d understand.

So back to the back of my right hand. This vein, it dances. It’s great. It’s an utterly useless talent, but it shimmies like a belly-dancer from side to side. The rest of me lacks such grace. If only bodily skills were transferable.

That’s my favorite limerick by the way:

Lincoln, Lincoln I’ve been thinkin,’
What the heck have you been drinkin’?
Is it water? Is it wine?
Oh my gosh, it’s turpentine!

Genius. You have to do it with the William Shatner dramatic interpretation though.

I also like:

Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
But Moses supposes erroneously.

This one you have to put the emphasis on “erroneously” in a mock serious second-grade teacher way. I also like to open my eyes wide and tilt my head just so on “erroneously” for additional impact. It’s not as hilarious as Lincoln though, which will crack me up every time.

I’m gonna go look at the back of my hand again now.