Wednesday, it's about Thursday

“Hi, Wednesday. Um, we need to talk. I kind of want to see someone else.

“No, it’s not over between us. There’s just someone else I like so I thought we could step it back a bit and be more casual.

“Really, I still like you. It’s not like I’m going away. I’m still watching all the Gossip Girl re-runs even though I’ve seen every one.

“I know, America’s Next Top Model starts February 20. I’ll be back full-time then.

“But, it’s like, you don’t have any new episodes that I’m into right now. You know I’m committed to you, but I just need a little break.

“No, it’s Thursday. I know Monday is the Gossip Girl behind the scenes episode, but that’s just one night. This every Thursday.”

“It’s… it’s… Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

“But you know I love whipped cream pseudo-drama. You knew that going into this, Wednesday. I like the empty calories and brain-slushing. This show is perfect for me right now.

“No, I’m sorry, you’re still perfect for me too; I just need to see Thursday for a while.

“Well, it’s interesting because it’s self-destructive D-List celebrities airing their dirty laundry and actually getting good therapy from Dr. Pinsky’s treatment center.

“I like a train wreck. I like harmless strife. It doesn’t affect my life at all. I like that check-out.

“I hope you understand, Wednesday. It’s just that Gossip Girl doesn’t come back until the fall. I’ll get tired of Thursday when all the D-Listers implode themselves because of their inability to face their responsibility for their own actions. I’ll be back.

“I love you, Wednesday. I’ll see you soon. Bye-bye.”