I’ve felt fat and old-looking for the past couple of years. I felt like, once I started gaining weight, I started looking my age. Few of the women in my family actually look their age, so I felt kind of like a family genetics beauty reject. (Many of the women are overweight, so that makes me feel like part of the club.)
Working on a college campus, I’ve been mistaken for a student more than once. Today I went to the campus coffee shop for my ghetto latte (espresso shots with milk added later from the condiments bar). I pulled out my debit card for my $1.85 drink, and I said to the cashier, “I know this is so sad; I have no cash.”
She said, “Don’t you have any money left on your student ID?”
“Oh no, I’m not a student. I work here.”
She pointed to the food court, “Here?”
“No, in the library.”
“You’re not a student?”
“No, I’m staff.”
“Really?”
“Well, yes,” I said, getting nonplussed by her insistence that I couldn’t be old enough to work here.
Really, though, I was deeply flattered and I even blushed. “OK,” I thought, “maybe I don’t look that fat and old.”
Returning to my post at the weekend reference desk, I settled in with a book and my ghetto latte. A student approached. “Are you a student worker? I need help from a librarian.” High hopes for the look of eternal youth dashed, I assured the young man that I had my MS in Library Science and that I was a “real librarian.”
Turned out he was just a little crass, not stupid, so I didn’t end up totally hating him for the mistake, but the same student ID confusion boosted my ego and shamed me. A hackneyed cliché like “double-edged sword” is regrettably appropriate here. I suppose I should take the blessing of youthful appearance as a compliment, no matter how it’s delivered.
Or maybe it’s just my acne that causes the confusion.
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2 comments:
You and I are completely on the same page (except I don't have all your degrees).
I've *always* thought it was the acne that made me look like a kid. But, the apple green glasses don't help (or do, whichever the case may be), plus they mask the wrinkles developing under my eyes. Also, I have kind of a "service" job. It's not McDonald's, but it's a support role. I work with two psychologist residents right now, and they are easily five years younger (and probably more). I told one of them that I was 36, and she *almost* dropped a poo-ball in her pants.
Mostly, it feels good, (because I *am* so fat and I mostly just feel bad about my appearance) but with only a sad little BFA behind my name, and working with all doctors, I tend to have a little inferiority complex.
Now that I think of it, though, grey hair and a saggy chin would only make me seem more pathetic. So, I guess it's all good.
I used to get this too. I started growing a beard each fall before school starts to make me look older.
The catch? Eighteen-year-old undergrads can grow thicker beards than me.
Now I just look young and slightly homeless.
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