Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Old Testament God is speaking to me

I hate mass forward e-mails. One I got required the sender to make a wish and then forward the "special" message to ten people to make it come true. I was a recipient. The addendum to the "special message" said, "Please make sure to forward this to 10 people. I have a VERY special wish I need to come true!" *

What I just received was, "I thought this was cool and I wanted to pass it on." It turned out to be "My Birth Verse," a Bible verse that is supposed to be tailored according to your birthday, as tabulated by a random computer somewhere on the interweb.

And my result....

Genesis 7:5 NIV
And Noah did all that the LORD commanded him.

I write about my non-compliance all the damn time. Really? The Bible thinks I should do all someone commands me to do? Hah! I scoff thee, Genesis. I do the OPPOSITE of all I'm COMMANDED to do! Take that, Lord, I'm coveting all over the place!

*Not to be a total bitch, but it turned out she wanted to get pregnant, and she gave birth to an ADD child with severe anger issues beginning at the tender age of three. Was that what she wished for? Yes, I guess i am a total bitch, but, so what, the Lord told me not to be, so that's what I'm going to do ;)

3 comments:

meinemo said...

Ugh. Goddamn bible!

Anonymous said...

Oh!! So THAT's how one gets pregnant? Email chain letters?

These dangly bits are good for nothing these days.

Christine Wy said...

Yes, God and e-mail chain letters, that's what gets women preggers.